What do you have to do to get a kid?
No, is not an easy process to complete, nor should it be. You are signing up to take care of someone else's kids as though they are your own. Even though some of the kids' biological parents are questionable (um, hello? The kids are in Foster Care...it's a fair statement), all kids deserve a safe and loving home. So, we've gone through an initial screening (they say its to check for space and safety; I think it's to rule out the crazies...we made it through anyway). We had to fill out 12-page questionnaires detailing our childhoods, educational experience, child rearing philosophies, state of our marriage, and career situations. Truthfully, they ask about EVERYTHING. How do we tell our kids when we're sad? Seriously? We say, "Hey kids, we're sad."We had to take 10 hours of training. They call it PRIDE class. I'm sure it's an acronym I can't remember. It was incredibly long and incredibly not long enough. What would be really useful would be a psychology degree, a behavioral therapy certification, early education training, and some very basic medical training. There is SO MUCH to know and for which to prepare. When you have your own kids, the learning curve is pretty slow. If something is going on with your kid, you learn about it. You observe it, report it, research it, treat it, whatever. It's very learn-as-you-go. With foster kids, it seems like it's going to be a lot of guess work. You never know what you're going to get, and you may find you need to deal with something RIGHT NOW. No learning curve. Do something. DO SOMETHING!!!! So, anyway, yes, the classes are long, but I'm not complaining.
We are in the middle of a home study. You invite your agency into your home to examine every tiny detail of your life. I was suddenly very aware that our furniture was shabby. When did that happen? How can anyone expect me to take care of a baby if I can't take care of a couch! Oh wait...I HAVE kids. That's WHY the furniture is shabby. Right.
Why don't you just have another one? You still can, right?
This one is my favorite. Yes, we could have another baby. Our two kids are healthy, and I had pretty easy pregnancies. That does not mean we're ready to do it again. Child growing and birthing is insanely stressful. There are thousands of unknowns and risks for loss... why push our luck? We were blessed with two beautiful and healthy kids. We appreciate what we've got!
But somehow, we feel like our family is not quite done, and there are kids out there who need a safe place to live. As a matter of fact, there are more than 6000 kids in foster care in Florida alone. And our place is pretty safe. It's Wes proof, so....we're probably good.
You're just going to give the kids back?
If their parents follow their plan, and work out their issues, then we will have been part of reuniting a family. I'm not trying to pretend it won't be awful, but won't it also be a little great? We had a hard time with this, too, when we first started examining our decision. But then we learned that an incredibly high percentage of children who are entering the system today are children of parents who, themselves, have aged out of the foster care system. Those parents have no idea what a functional and healthy family looks like. I may not either, for that matter, but what we have works for us, and we'll share with the willing.
IF, on the other hand, a child in our care becomes available for adoption, then we will adopt!
Aren't you scared the foster kids will hurt your kids?
Have you ever met our kids? No. They'll be fine. Also, we're only fostering kids younger than ours.
